Christmas Eve

My blog has issues posting, but whatever. So I just wanted to rave about what I feel is one of the most amazing parts of the Christmas story. That is, the shepherds. I mean these guys were just chillin in a field when all of a sudden and angel pops up and starts talking to them. I would be freakin out. Not only that, but I would think I was hallucinating. So then after all this is done, a multitude of the heavenly host appears. For those you of you who don't speak bible, that means that a whole lot of angels showed up. The bible doesn't say how many, it just says that there were enough to fill up the sky. These angels started to chant all together and glorify the Lord. How amazing that must of been? The shepherds are also the lowest of the low. God chose to appear to the poor and not the rich. The ordinary instead of the extraordinary. How incredibly amazing.

Weaknesses

I feel that I need to comment based on yesterday's post that everyone has an area of weakness. Some people gamble, some smoke, some cuss. My area of weakness is boys (obviously). But I ask sensitivity from you that you not freak out over my post. I am trying to be real and I am serious about fixing this area. So please treat this as such. Treat it as if you were dealing with a gambler, a smoker, a cusser, etc.

Hindsight is 20/20

So, this is my new blog because I got locked out of my old one. If you get confused check out savingme2008@blogspot.com. So back to my title. So I was thinking today about this time last year. Yep, I was a wreck. Why? Because I let some stupid boy get me down. You wanna know something? It was really my fault. As I look back, I realize that I should have been careful. I should have paid attention. I gave my heart away to someone who didn't deserve it. God is the only one who deserves my heart. Only one he hands it to me and says, "Here, this is the man who can have your heart," can I give this fragile thing away. So easier said than done. Because now I have this other boy. He's a great kid and ya know...he's just great. Only that doesn't mean he can have my heart. And I am also struggling with the fact that I don't even know if I like him. Isn't that horrible?! So basically I am jerking this kid around and as far as I can tell, he's handed me his heart on a silver platter. I feel like I am eating it right in front of him. I want to like him so bad, but I don't know if I do. So I pray at night that he will stop liking me or be a jerk and that way my heart gets broken instead of his. Does that mean something about how I feel. Oh, I am SO CONFUSED!!! Any advice would be at least slightly appreciated.